Pipe band on the Rood

My manager told a funny story tonight, as our mutual friend (just turned 24 with a pregnant wife, God love you son) gave us a ride to a point close to his hame and both a beer store and LRT station for me.
Here's the tale: J (bossman) used to play drums in a Pipe n Drum band, which if you are not Scots or have been livin in a 'reality show' hell, means bagpipes n drums. They played Highland Games type events all over eastern Canada and even went to Scotland once.  So the band (as it were) had played a highland games in New Brunswick and were on their way back to east coast Nova Scotia where they came from, and they had ingested a few bevvies, but one guy had a LOT of them. I will call him Hugh.  So they are rolling along the road, driver is sober, he is the drum major (different from those twiddly things they do  at football games) and kind of in charge of a bunch of kilted c*nts , one of whom (Hugh lets call him) has to piss and cant wait till they stop.
So he slides open the door of the big passenger van, lifts his kilt and lets er rip as they roll down the road. Thats right, they generally dont wear undies under.  So he is just getting into a good flow  when the cop lights go on behind, Woop woop! Drum major pulls over, a RCMP comes up either side of the vehickle..
At the driver's window, the drum major is saying, 'most of these guys are pretty lickered, we were about to get to the motel, but I'm sober and thats why  I am driving".  Cop is going to go for it, but buddy , still pissing under his kilt, out the sliding side door by the other cop, says,  " We were strollin fer cocksuckers, and looks like we just got a couple !"
Fortunately cop in charge has a sense of humor. Visibly stifling an urge to bust out laughing, he composes himself, and says, 'You guys get home safe now" and let them go on.

J is going to be telling that story for another 30 yrs now, I got some from when I was 19 too, but thats a gooder.